I guess I like you
by bluesraine
Summary: After a stressful week Maura isn't doing so well, and Jane tries to find out what is going on only to discover that they … really like each other … and that they never loved a woman – before.  - Complete -


Summary:

After a stressful week Maura isn't doing so well, and Jane tries to find out what is going on only to discover that they … really like each other … and that they never loved a woman – before.

Authors Note: Comments are love. I just borrowed them during a lonely, dark night, and imagined they were mine. Characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and some writers.

* * *

I am not sure if we technically are best friends. Definitions would say best friends are people whom share the deepest kind of friendship. Something didn't seem to be right with this. She was my person. She probably didn't know that. She was captured in her job, and she was amazing with this; a great intelligent cop and woman.

This week has been stressful. Jane had a serial killer case, and when we were at body number 3, the press started running behind us. Whenever we turned around, there was a camera and a microphone right in front of us, annoying us with questions. Jane was annoyed, tried to rush me in the morgue, but I'm supposed to examine carefully and get every detail, and she knows that. I hate when she is getting impatient. I don't like that side of her.

I can't help; I can't get the cases out of my head. 5 dead bodies until Jane and her team got him. And to make it worse- they were kids. I am not supposed to get attached emotionally. I can handle working with bodies. But crying families? And to make it worse, a snappy Jane. And so, I stepped back. I raised my walls and locked her out. She didn't even realize it in the first place.

Why would she? She has her family she can rely on, she doesn't really need me. And that's what's making me sad. She doesn't need me. I'm just a person, I can be replaced. Sure, she likes me.

I strike my hair behind the ears. I know it's not true. I know she likes me. I know she cares. But at some point, I've had enough. These dead kids, Jane in bad cop mode, reporters everywhere- and whenever I came home, my apartment was empty. Bass is my company, and I love him. And I'm the queen of dead for a reason, right? I'm not good around people, but even a person like me needs somebody sometimes.

And that's where things start getting complicated. I pour myself another glass of red wine when I hear the knock. I open, and am a little surprised to find Jane. She was in some sports clothes that looked worn out. "I ran here", she explains when she sees my look.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, we are very friendly tonight, hu? Can I come in?"

"Like this?" My look runs over her sweaty clothes.

"No, let me run back home to get changed. Sure, like this."

"Well okay" I hear myself saying. "But you need to take a shower. There are some fresh clothes in the bathroom."

I walk back to the kitchen where I left my wine. I take the glass and sit down on the balcony. The air is warm, a light summer breeze. The stars are shining above my place, but the city lights cloud my view and make them almost disappear. I am still looking up when Jane finds me. Her hair is wet; she is wearing my clean sport outfit. She also got one of the beers I keep in my fridge since she started visiting my home.

She sits next to me and takes a sip, not saying anything.

"Why are you here?" I ask again.

"I wanted to see you."

"You should be with your family."

"Are you kicking me out?" she asks surprised.

"I'm… no. That's not very polite, isn't it?"

Now she looks at me. "Maura, what's wrong? Did I say something?"

I sigh. "You said a lot of things but I can deal with this. That's how you are when you are under pressure. I don't like it, but it's a part of you."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

I believe her. For sure she is sorry. I shake my head; I don't know what's going on. I can't stop thinking about her. It confuses me. When I came home, I wished she would be with me. I wanted to sit with her, right here in the moonlight, doing what we are actually doing- sharing a drink, being together. "Its not supposed to be like this", I whisper, not thinking about what I'm saying.

"Like what?"

My head rises up. "What?"

"You just said… it's not supposed to be like this." Now, her look is full of concern. "Maura, something isn't right, so tell me."

"God, Jane. You never want to talk, but now you do? Why do you even care?"

"Because you are my friend", she almost shouts, "You are my partner. I care for you. We are a team. I care."

I get up and walk to my bedroom. I just want to curl up under the blanket. The smell of fresh sheets comforts me a bit. I wish she would leave, but I know she won't. I can hear her in the kitchen, and then she enters the bedroom. She walks around the bed and lies down opposite to me. She pulls the thin blanket over our bodies and looks at me.

I just love her eyes; she has the most beautiful eyes. She snuggles into the pillow. "Can I spend the night?" she asks and already knowing she can. She always can. I like having her over.

So I nod. "Sure you can" I whisper. I guess I start smiling now. "I'm glad you are here."

"You are not mad any more?"

"I... no, I'm not. I was just... confused. I was thinking about the cases, and I guess, I got attached too much. I'm glad we solved the case though. And when I came home I felt so... lost."

"I know that feeling."

"But you can always go to your family. And I don't have a family."

Now Jane takes a breath. She slowly reaches out and took my hand in hers. "I came to see you. I talked to them, but..." She holds my look. "I need you."

That's probably what scares me the most… I need her too. I don't know how this happened. I trust her, I would trust her blindly. We grew together so much during the last years. And somehow it happened I started to need her.

"I mean, we are going through all of this together, it shouldn't surprise us we are connected so much, hu?" Jane smiles, but when I don't answer she starts getting nervous. "Come on, say something."

It makes me smile. "What would you want me to say?"

"Well, very unlike me I just did this little soul striptease with talking about my feelings..."

"So basically you said we are a team and you enjoy having me in your life."

"Uhm. Yes, you could say it like that. It sounds less emotional now, thank you." She raises an eyebrow.

I let out a sigh. "I guess I like you."

A sarcastic laugh. "Thank you, again."

"I don't mean... I did mean..." Now I stop talking, I don't make sense anyway. I have never been good with talking about my feelings. I guess that's one thing Jane and I have in common. Okay, Maura, try again? "I tried to say that I like you, Jane" I spill. "That I care for you. That lately, I wonder if… I have the feeling there are things going on between us, non friendship like things... I may be wrong and if I am I apologize. I just... I like you."

She thinks about my ramblings, I can see her brain working. Then, she understands. She stares at me. "You like me."

I nod. I wonder if she realizes that she is still holding my hand. She follows my look and watches our hands. She feels good. Her hands are a little bit rougher than mine, from the gun training or sports I guess, but her fingers are long and look like artists hands to me.

"So, you like me", she repeats. Now, she is making me nervous. "I guess", she whispers so quietly I almost don't get it, "I like you, too."

This would have knocked me off my feet, but happily we are in my bed. I'm stunned, that was the last I expected. Again, my heart starts to beat faster. I lace my fingers through hers.

"So you were angry because you like me."

I have to smile. "Kinda."

She laughs. I finally can relax. She usually has that effect on me. At work, we challenge each other, but at night, when she stays over, I feel safe and comfortable. She looks relaxed as well. I am relieved. I mean, I was so freaked out about this whole situation, and as easy as it can be- she likes me as well. A warm feeling takes over my stomach, lets me find her look. Her brown eyes hold my look. I love her eyes, so dark and beautiful. She leans in, lets her forehead touch mine. She closes her eyes. I feel her warm breath running over my face. She reaches out and lets her hand run over my arm. I like that she's trying to comfort me.

I close my eyes, but feeling her so close lets the blood rush faster through my veins. I reach out to let my hand run over her side. I strike over her arm, reach her shoulder. Then, slowly, I let my fingers wander along her neck and over her jaw line. I feel her breath a little bit sharper; feel her dimples under my thumb. I can touch her, I can finally touch her. I pull her closer; softly my lips touch hers. She kisses me back right away.

When we are out of breath she pulls back to look at me. "Okay, tell me how this works."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to… you know… I never had any feelings for women; I don't know how to do this right…" She stammers a bit.

"This is new to me as well, Jane."

"You didn't look that up? You know everything, Google, so tell me."

I can't help but laugh. "I don't know everything. I mean, I may have a bigger knowledge about things than other people, but if I would know everything…"

She pinches me. "Focus, Maura."

"I… guess… we just try. Your guess is as good as mine here."

Jane smiles. "Okay then." She kisses me again, slowly running her tongue along my lip, like she is tasting me. Her tongue slips into my mouth, where she is dancing with mine. I fling my arm around her waist, pull her body to mine. Then, my fingertips wander along the bottom of the shirt, rolling it up a bit so I can touch her skin. I let my hand strike over her back, up to her well defined shoulder muscles. She sighs into the kiss while I touch her.

I feel her reaching out for my side, her hand wandering down over my butt. I giggle. "Jane."

"Mhh. I like your butt." She shuts me up with another kiss.

I try to get her out of the shirt. "Off" I murmur. She helps me a bit, and the shirt gets tossed into a corner.

"Only fair you take yours off too."

After I took off my shirt and bra, I lay down next to her. She smiles into the moonlight. Then, her hand runs along my spine, over my shoulders. She rests on my collar bone for a moment. I see her hesitating. This is new to both of us. I smile, and give her a soft kiss. When I pull back she holds my look. And slowly, her fingertips run down my chest, through the valley between my breasts, to my belly button. She spreads her fingers there, and when she runs her hand up, my breath stops.

Then, her index finger skims over my breast. She must see the arousal in my eyes, and knowing she can do that to me gives her faith. She bends down to place a trail of kisses along my shoulder, pushing me back into the pillow. Her hands hold mine over my head while her lips wander over my chest. She kisses my skin softly, sometimes flips her tongue on my skin. A moan escapes my lips when she sucks my nipple. She looks up, reading my face, and I can tell she looks proud.

She continues what she is doing, working her way down my body. When she reaches my pants she strokes along my sides, and slowly pulls the pants down. When her hand wanders back up, she feels my panties. Her fingertip runs over the lace. "Jane" I beg when she is teasing me. I want her to touch me, I want to feel her. She kisses my tummy. Then, a finger slips under my panties. She draws circles on my skin while she leans in for another kiss.

I suck her tongue into my mouth when her finger slowly slips into my wetness.

"Like it?" she checks.

"Mhh."

"How does it feel?" she asks while she moves her finger inside me.

I can only close my eyes and moan against her lips. She smiles. When she stops her movement for a moment I fling my arm around her, turn her on her back. She looks up to me. I caress my long hair back and bend down. I kiss her, and then softly cover her right breast with my hand. She's a perfect match. I run my thumb over the soft skin. She closes her eyes under my touch, so I bend down to kiss her. I carefully nip her with my teeth; let my hands run over her stomach muscles. I like her six-pack, and she arches against me.

I manage to get her out of her pants and pull her panties down as well. She takes a sharp breath when the cool air hits her hot skin. I discover her long legs; place a kiss on her knees. She giggles, only to moan when I lick along her inner tight.

My finger finds her wet and ready. I draw circles around the wet skin, feel how soft she is. I slip a finger inside her; add another one when she moans my name. I watch my fingers glide in and out, touch her softest spot with my thumb and feel her tighten around me.

She pulls me down to her, presses her lips on mine. While I slowly rub her, her hand finds its way back between my legs again. We move around a little bit until we are both comfortable. Then her fingers work their way into my folds, and her thumb starts matching my own movements.

Arousal washes through my body, making me want to feel more and more of her. I raise my speed, and feel her press into me. She is close, I can tell. She rubs me harder. I bite her lip when she almost makes me come only to slow down again. She grins, quickly licks my upper lip. I kiss her deeply; grab her hair with my free hand. I can feel her come, and keep striking her until she cries out my name only to follow her quickly.

We lay in my bed, still entangled into each others arms, breathing heavily. She steals a quick peck and covers us with a blanket. I move around, until I'm on my back, and pull her close. She rests her head on my shoulder, flings an arm around my waist. I look outside, dark clouds are running over the sky, let the moon peek through a spot from time to time.

I just loved Jane. I guess now we can definitely skip the thinking about the best friends definition and move on to… what exactly? "Jane?"

"Hmm?" her voice sounds satisfied and sleepy.

"Is this a one time only thing to you?"

She looks up. "Do you really need to discuss that?"

"I'm trying to define what we are. I have been thinking about that before you came over."

Jane sighs. "Maura, we made love. It's not like… hot quick sex and then I grab my stuff and leave. I'm planning to stay the night and repeat this in the morning. You are amazing, and this doesn't refer to your qualities as lover." She kisses my chin. "I told you I like you, very much. And I don't know about you, but this feels very right to me. Screw a definition. This is our first time; let us find out where it will lead us."

She makes me smile. Things can be so easy, sometimes. She is right, this feels great- she feels great. I feel her relaxing in my arms. She's my partner, my lover, my friend, and my heart. I close my eyes to drift into a long, deep sleep only to dream about her.

The End.


End file.
